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Top 10 Reasons Why Corpse of The Montauk Monster is Missing

Satire By Robert Paul Reyes

*The body of the Montauk Monster is in a crib in Angelina Jolie's mansion, it's her latest adoption.

*Tourists from West Virginia found the remains of the Montauk Monster and deep fried it for lunch.

*Rosie O'Donnell woke up from her drunken slumber, and she's learned her lesson: Never fall asleep on a New Jersey beach again.

*Prince Chunk, the 44-pound kitty cat, ate it for dinner.

*The Montauk Monster is in John McCain's Arizona home; it's being vetted for the vice-presidency.

*It's in Dr. Phil's green room; the mad doctor is going to psychoanalyze it on live TV.

*Dick Cheney came back to the beach, and picked up his illegitimate offspring.

*The Montauk Monster is in Geraldo Rivera's freezer, he's preparing to do a new prime time special: The Autopsy of the Montauk Monster.

*It's in Whoopi Goldberg's water bed, The View moderator wants to sleep with 100 lovers before she dies. With her looks, she can't be too picky if she wants to accomplish her goal.

*The Montauk Monster was beamed up to the Starship Enterprise, its playing chess with Mr. Spock.

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.