Behind Her Skirt

Pat Stenson, the self appointed leader of SHE, Inc and I have a love/hate relationship. She used me! All of the things SHE stood for, not to kowtow to men etc., she was doing to me! How could I have let her do that you ask? Plain and simple. She seduced me!

You remember, it had been in all the sport news. She was MVP for the Pac Ten women's softball. Well, three young men were taunting women going to a NOW meeting. Pat picked up a fist sized rock and hurled it over fifty yards denting a metal fence behind them. Well, her prowess in sports paled in comparison with her activity in bed when her hormones raged! Do I need to draw more of a picture than that?

Sperm Holding Enterprises was organized and Pat lured me away from Mahoney, Edwards and Nathanson. Not only did she get even with them for removing her from a prized palimony case, but after quitting, grabbed me, her replacement, a fellow law student from UCLA. That's why she seduced me.

Sperm Holding Enterprises was organized for men to use for preserving their sperm. My first assignment with SHE was to set this new company up so that the SHE women, and later their daughters too, could use it to impregnate themselves - of course only using sperm from the best studs - brilliant prominent men in their fields - and handsome too or course. I was to make it legal-like. At a later day I discovered that I too was one of the very few that qualified to be one of their studs. What a "left-handed" compliment!

Pat was always fair and honest, up to a point. Woe be unto any man that tried to get the best of her. There was this Cooper guy. Chose to teach in elementary schools since it was easier to make a principal compete against mostly women. This incompetent made the SHE girls attend his school and then had the temerity to try to take credit for the computer programs they had developed. By the time Pat (with me behind the scenes to do the dirty work) finished with him he lost his principal's position, then his teaching certificate and almost went to prison. You don't want to mess with Pat. It's a lose lose situation.

Pat Stenson rapidly climbed the political ladder. If the opponent stooped to dirty politics, I was called into action. The guy running against her for governor was planning to expose the SHE, Inc.'s morals. Would you believe, with help of one of the young brilliant computer savvy daughters, the zip codes on his mass mailings always got scrambled and never arrived at the correct address, and ended up in other states, no less?

Fran, one of the original six women, got fed up with having a baby every year. Her problem, she would have to show up at the doorstep of her ultra-conservative preacher father with twelve daughters' age 1 through 12! Me to the rescue. I convinced the older girls it would be too much of an adjustment. Pat always gave me these jobs.

I suppose you read about the dozen teenagers in the Mid-West that had this pact to all get pregnant. What a waste! If they had read SHE, Inc. they would have known to select decent studs.

The biggest assignment ever given to me by Pat was to acquire control of all the neighborhood papers in the country. In five years we had our brilliant young women as editors throughout the country and forming political groups in most of the major universities. We had more grassroots support than Obama. Hillary's campaign spurned our every overture. If they hadn't, it would now be Hillary wondering whether to ask Obama as a running mate! I was even seriously considering leaving Pat for Hillary.

When Russian Premier Chernov was hosted by President Pat Stenson, he was as cold and icy as his reputation. Pat had gotten me an executive position with the Secret Service so that I was always available at her beck and call. Having been under thumb for now twenty years I knew something was up when she was keeping me out of the way. She told Chernov she was merely matching his demeanor as she changed what amounted to costumes.

The last afternoon of Chernov's visit President Stenson again changed her attire. Boy, she sure knew how to get a man's attention. For this last afternoon she arrived in a tight fitting, low deep plunging v-neck, flaming red gown. When she found out that I was aware of her plans - her seduction of Chernov was in the wind (or should I say was in the bed), she knew - I knew. That was the one and only time I ever saw Pat Stenson back down.

Karl Rove is nationally known and has a reputation for political shenanigans and unethical conduct. Nobody knows Kenny Gross. How can I capitalize on all these things? What I know about SHE, Inc. the world should know. Ah, I know. I'll write a book and what will the name be? Of course. SHE, Inc.