Miniature Dachshund Bites Off Sleeping Woman's Big Toe

By Robert Paul Reyes

"An Illinois woman says her beloved miniature dachshund gnawed off her right big toe while she was asleep. Linda Floyd told the Alton Telegraph for a story Wednesday that her beloved Roscoe was euthanized because of safety concerns."

Quotation from the Associated Press

Dog bites man not a story; dog gnaws off lady's big toe an interesting story. Now if a guy woke up to discover that his beloved dog had bitten off his penis, that would be the biggest story of the year. It's not beneath me to cover human interest (animal interest?) stories.

Full disclosure: The lady is diabetic and she has no feeling in her toes because of nerve damage. The darn woman should not have left her toes dangling off the edge of the bed. She's lucky her little dog was satisfied with munching on only one toe.

Beloved Roscoe my a**! If this lady loved her pooch why on earth would she have him euthanized? She could have given her doggie to a friend or put it up for adoption.

Safety concerns my a**! A miniature dachshund is a threat only to Mini-Me and a person with no feelings in his toes.

I have no sympathy for Ms. Floyd; I hope she gets another dog and he takes a bit off her butt.

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.