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Men Be Very Afraid: "Sex and the City" Is Playing At A Cinemaplex Near You

By Robert Paul Reyes

Warning: This essay is about the film, "Sex and the City"; I may never be able to win back my male readers for bringing up a subject that all red-blooded American guys consider anathema. Gentlemen, forgive me for my indulgence, and I promise to write an article about boxing or baseball.

Men and women share the same planet, but it seems we live in different dimensions. Females are ethereal spirits engaged in mindless tasks like buying shoes, applying makeup and tending to the needs of the children. Men are engaged in more worthwhile pursuits like watching "Girls Gone Wild" infomercials on cable TV and figuring out how much to bet on the big football game.

It is a mystery to us why gals are enamored with Sex and the City, a TV series and now a film that is so much fluff to us.

"Sex and the City is a multiple Emmy award and Golden Globe award-winning popular American cable television program. The original run of the show was broadcast on HBO from 1998 until 2004, for a total of six seasons.

Set in New York City, the show focuses on four mid-thirties female characters. The sitcom had serialized story lines, as well as dramatic elements and tackled socially-relevant issues, often specifically dealing with women in society in the late 1990s, and how changing roles and definitions for women affected the characters."

Description from Wikipedia

During the initial run of the Sex and the City TV series I worked as an auditor for an insurance company. The office was overwhelmingly female, and when I had to see a claims examiner about a particular claim, 9 times out of 10 I interrupted a conversation about Sex and the City. I'm ashamed to say that through osmosis I learned a lot about the madcap adventures of the four main female characters. Thankfully, my mind has repressed everything having to do with this mother of all chick-centric TV shows, and all I remember now is that the main character has a strong resemblance to Mr. Ed (the horse).

But all the nightmarish memories have returned with the premiere of the Sex and the City movie. All of a sudden I recall all the idiosyncrasies of Carrie Bradshaw, Samantha Jones, Charlotte York and Miranda Hobbes. I have a recurring nightmare: Carrie wants to try all the positions in the Kama Sutra with me, but after each new position she changes shoes. These four old cougars are on the prowl, and they are on a mission from God to make my life miserable.

I'm a reasonable man, I've seen a chick flick or two, I've even seen "Beaches" twice with two different girlfriends. What guys will do for love or a quick romp in the sack. But I want nothing to do with this Mother of all Chick Flicks; I think I will move to Iran until this Sex and the City hoopla dies down.

Robert Paul Reyes is a NewsBlaze writer on Politics, Pop Culture and Pointless Pontificating. Contact him by writing to NewsBlaze.