Why the US Postal Service Always Loses Money!

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Satire By John Lillpop

As any regular customer of the US Postal Service (USPS) knows, the USPS is digging deeper and deeper into the pockets of Americans. As of May 12, the price for a first class stamp increased to $.42, a one penny increase.

News accounts of the increase include the standard phooey about how the USPS continues to lose millions of dollars, in addition to losing millions of pieces of important mail, each and every year.

Which is why the American public must pay an additional postal tax just to get the rent check sent across town.

On occasion, I have been unaware of the annual rip off staged by the USPS, and have unwittingly applied an inferior, penny-short stamp to vital correspondence.

Having done so, I have discovered why the USPS is such a failure:

Because my stamp was a penny light, USPS took the time to attack my letter with government graffiti that reads, "Returned, Due to Insufficient Postage," or some other equally inane government gibberish.

After wasting lord knows how much time to disfigure the instrument containing my priceless correspondence, dunderheads at USPS proceeded to deposit said disfigured memo in my mailbox!

For a single dang penny, the USPS probably spent $3.00 to disfigure and return my letter!

That is why USPS has always been, and will always be, a dismal failure!