Mudslinging Spring Cleaning

By Robert Paul Reyes

We all laugh when our favorite cartoon character gingerly opens a closet, and he's buried in a heap of clutter. But it's no laughing matter for me; it's a tiresome and tedious task to clean out my closets. Spring cleaning is not my favorite activity; I usually get around to it sometime during the summer.

Wouldn't it be nice if the presidential candidates engaged in a little bit of spring cleaning?

The presumptive Republican nominee, Sen. John McCain, doesn't have much junk in his campaign closet; he has the luxury of defining himself while his Democratic rivals tear each other apart.

Hillary Clinton has a monumental task when it comes to cleaning out her closet, and I'm not referring to those hundreds of horrible pantsuits she needs to donate to a thrift shop. Some of us store broken vacuum cleaners and boxes of miscellaneous items in our closets, open Hillary's and you will find kitchen sinks and a septic tank or two. Hillary will have to enlist the help of most of her volunteers to clean out her campaign closet.

If a miracle takes place and Hillary cleans her closet, she needs to assign her hubby a time-consuming task because he is the one who is responsible for a good part of the junk in her closet. Have you ever seen a housewife who is busy cleaning her house while her little brat is busy making messes all over the place? That reminds me of Bill Clinton who creates controversies while his wife is trying to win the Democratic nomination.

Barack Obama is not entirely blameless in this matter, after weeks of enduring Hillary's relentless attacks, he has occasionally responded in kind. His campaign closet could use a good sweeping, although unlike Hillary's it hasn't been declared an environmental hazard by the EPA.

I don't expect the closets of the presidential candidates to be as spotless as those of Martha Stewart, but for the sake of our democracy I hope they aren't as cluttered as mine.

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