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San Francisco Runs Ads to Attract Illegal Aliens!

Satire By John Lillpop

Most American cities find that illegal aliens bring with them unacceptable social, budgetary, educational, and health care burdens that severely strain resources intended for taxpaying citizens.

As a result, most cities discourage unwelcome third-world interlopers from invading their cities in the first place.

San Francisco, on the other hand, is unlike most American cities, a fact to be celebrated by those fortunate enough to live in most other American cities.

For example, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom and the Board of Supervisors have recently discovered that there is a frightening shortfall of needy, poor folks clogging the social service centers and emergency rooms here.

Too much English is being spoken in fast food restaurants and car washes in this goofy metropolis, at least according to the likes of Mayor Newsom.

Thus, the leftist loonies in charge have elected to run advertisements to attract more illegal aliens to the City.

Its called pandering, but Newsom calls it "reaching out to the disadvantaged," which is what 30 million Californians will be if we are foolish enough to elect Newsom when he runs for governor in 2010.

Thus, at a time when American citizens are losing their homes to foreclosure, Newsom et. al is spending $80,000 of taxpayer money to inform illegal aliens that The City is open for business and is ready, willing, and able to violate federal law in order to accommodate invading criminals.

Imagine how many past due mortgages currently hounding American citizens could be cured with $80,000?

But favoring American citizens over third-world criminals would be discriminatory and so very Un-San Franciscan, right Mayor?

Thus, San Francisco monies are being spent on ads that read:

"To those in America illegally and are without documents of any type, come to the most beautiful and generous city in the world!

"San Francisco is home to the Golden Gate Bridge, fabulous cable cars, Alcatraz Island, the ACLU, and unlimited supplies of food stamps and welfare goodies for brown people without documents or English skills.

"Why not move your family here and enjoy our relaxing, peaceful environment in which it is a crime to even utter the word deportation, much less attempt it?

"Come to San Francisco where border patrol agents are as unwelcome as the United States Marines and HIV Positive databases designed to abuse AIDS victims.

"Come to San Francisco--where you will have the freedom to express your views, freely and openly. Protest marches are a tradition here, and we welcome your anti-American messages and Mexican flags as well!

"Simply prove that you are here illegally and speak no English whatsoever, and leave the rest to Mayor Newsom!"

And so it goes in the "City that knows how."

Or USED to know how.