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Hillary Clinton Presents Presidential Campaigning for Dummies

Satire by Robert Paul Reyes

Sen. Hillary Clinton expected a cakewalk to the nomination, and before the primary season started in earnest she had the luxury of staying "above the fray." But when early polls indicated that Hillary was in danger of losing Iowa, she remarked to reporters "Now the fun begins," signaling her intention to go after Sen. Barack Obama with both guns blazing.

Obama, ever the gentleman, responded by saying that launching personal attacks against one's opponent should not be considered fun.

Nice guys finish last and nice guys have no fun. Now there's a textbook, "Nomination Campaigning for Presidential Candidates", that will teach aspiring office holders how to have fun by engaging in the politics of personal destruction.

Cartoon by NewsBlaze Cartoonist MJ

It doesn't matter if you are running for dogcatcher or mayor, this masterpiece dispenses invaluable information.

My favorite chapter is entitled, "Negative Ad Fun", it's a must read for any campaign manager. The author, Bill Cutthroat, brilliantly illustrates how a candidate can exploit almost any innocent and innocuous incident. Cutthroat writes, "If your adversary is filmed helping a little old lady cross the street, use that footage to your advantage in your next commercial. Open the ad with the scene of your opponent walking with the old hag, while a narrator whispers: This is shocking tape of mayoral hopeful John DoRight holding hands with a woman who is not his wife. Is he merely helping her cross the street, or are they heading to the nearest Sleazy Manor motel? Who knows, but we can't afford to take a chance, the problems of our fair city are too great and we need a mayor who is above reproach."

The other chapters are just as great, but if you want to know more about them you will have to shell out $29.99 at your local Barnes & Nobel or online at Amazon.Com.

Our thanks to NewsBlaze Cartoonist MJ for sending us a copy of the book cover.

judythpiazza@newsblaze.com