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Spitzer's Escort from the Emperors Club Wore no Clothes!

Satire By John Lillpop

Silda Spitzer, presumably still the wife of New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, at least for the moment, must have thought Eliot's behavior somewhat odd on Valentine's Day.

To begin with, Eliot spent Valentine's eve in Washington, D.C., rather than opting for a cuddly, romantic evening in the New York State Executive Mansion with his betrothed of 20 years.

Adding to the oddity, Eliot's Valentine's gift this year seemed quite frugal, even for the governor.

Rather than the traditional chocolates and expensive roses, the governor sent Silda a copy of Tammy Wynett's golden hit "Stand By Your Man," accompanied by a "Wish You Were Here" postcard from Washington, D.C.

Whatever suspicions Silda Spitzer might have harbored were confirmed on Monday, when the governor, once known as "Mr. Clean," assumed new, less flattering monikers, including "Client 9," and "George Fox."

NYT:

Suddenly, Governor Spitzer's Valentine's Day weirdness makes complete sense. Instead of being wrapped in Silda's arms in New York, the governor was frolicking in the hay with a sweet young thing from the Emperors Club, a high-end prostitution ring.

Spitzer's indiscretion has given new meaning to that old saying, "The Emperor Has No Clothes," at least with regard to one young lady from the Emperors Club.

That dalliance cost the governor $4,300, which would explain why Silda got a scratched old record and a moldy card instead of expensive booty this Valentine's Day.

Like all hypocritical liberals, Governor Spitzer declared his run-in with the law to be a "private matter," in much the same manner as Bill Clinton attempted to dismiss his trysts with Gennifer Flowers, Paul Jones, Kathleen Willey, Monica Lewinsky, and God knows how many others.

At least Governor Spitzer had the decency to stage his seedy affair in a hotel room in a distant city, rather than in the bowels of the Governor's Mansion with Silda and his three daughters all within shouting distance.

Despite the initial shock and negative public reaction, Governor Spitzer found wide support among liberal Democrats.

For example, leftist talk-show host Bernie Ward, indicted on child pornography charges, advised the embattled governor to keep a stiff upper lip.

Ward even recommended a legal strategy for the embattled governor: Claim that you are writing a book on the devastating impact of prostitution on children, wives, and family values in New York State.

Further claim that you're frolicking was research for that literary work, you did not even enjoy the experience, and to prove it, you may file a lawsuit against the Emperors Club for price gouging!

Spitzer was further boosted by former President Bill Clinton who sent the governor a hand-written note reading:

"Keep up the good work, and do not fret, Eliot. From personal experience, I can tell you that a former governor with morals problems can become president someday, if he plays his cards right.

By the way, I told Hillary to send Silda her recipe for "stay at home moms" crow cookies.

Best Wishes, and enjoy the cookies!

WJC"