Published: December 18, 2007
Science, Governments, Bears and Metallica All Agree, It's All About The Bacon!
By Rocco "Boss Hog" Loosbrock
With all the division and political strife running rampant throughout the world these days, It's nice to be able to rely on a combination of recent news reports and international current events to fins that there is at least one topic that there is agreement on. At least, agreement between a group of prominent British and Danish scientists, The West Virginia Division of Natural Resources, the rock band Metallica and a hungry bear who exhibits truly gourmet class and good taste.
Guess what great and noble priority an "undisclosed" amount of tax money from the commonwealth of Denmark and Great Britain has gone toward. If you guessed "the scientific solution to the age old problem of making the perfect bacon sandwich," you are right!
Yep, a team of scientists at Leeds University in England have been working to discover the scientific formula for building the perfect bacon sandwich, based on vast number of mathematical and chemical variables. Graham Clayton led the research, originally commissioned by the Danish Bacon and Food Council, to determine things like, what degree of crispiness and crunchiness made for the perfect bacon sandwich.
These dedicated researchers spent over a thousand hours in the lab testing 700 variants on bacon sandwiches, such as the optimum thickness, fattiness and crispiness and ultimate cooking method to be utilized. Even the sound of the bacon being crunched was measured in decibels and the breaking force of crispy bacon measured in newtons. Taxpayer's hard earned money at work for the people. It's a beautiful thing.
Meanwhile, in Clarksburg, WV, wildlife biologist Gary Foster, of the state Division of Natural Resources used his years of experience and training to determine that the most effective way to trap wild bear intruding on the property of local, frightened citizens, was to lure them with a bait concocted of honey buns dipped in bacon grease. Mmmmmm, I'm hungry already!
Finally, what's one thing that every world-wide concert venue and fancy hotel better not forget when they're setting up the room or backstage dressing facility for heavy metal rock legend and 80's/90's icon, Metallica?
According to the strict stipulations starkly stated in the prearranged agreement regarding what foods must be available for the band, it is explicitly expressed in the strongest of terms that bacon is very important and must be available at every meal and throughout the entire day!
Wow, maybe all that head-banging actually served to open up the 90% of the human brain that most people don't access and made these guys some sort of super geniuses. You can't argue with the evidence! Enjoy Life, Dig In and Pig Out!
Copyright (c) 2007
Coastal Vineyards' "Bacon Freak" Gourmet Bacon Club
www.cvwine.com
All Rights Reserved Worldwide.
Rocco Loosbrock is owner, proprietor and official "Boss Hog" of "Bacon Freak," Coastal Vineyards' friendly home of the very best gourmet bacon, ham and sausage found anywhere online or off. If you truly love bacon or care about someone who believes that "bacon is meat candy," then come learn more and interact with the whole gang out on the family farm at http://www.cvwine.com
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