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Does America Need Hard Work/Thrift Tutoring from Pedro Zapeta?

Satire By John Lillpop

Illegal Alien Pedro Zapeta Needs $49,000 to pay his Lawyer!

Pedro Zapeta is the illegal alien who invaded America nine years ago to pursue a career in dishwashing. By adding tax evasion to his skills set, Pedro was able to amass $59,000 over that nine-year period.

But after nine stimulating years, Zapeta decided he needed less challenging work, so he decided to return to Guatemala.

According to rumors spread by loiters outside several Day Labor centers in Miami, Zapeta planned to use that hard-earned $59,000 to start a government-consulting firm.

His specialty? Showing Guatemala, Mexico and other third world governments how to escape the clutches of abject poverty.

Pedro's success model is really quite simple: Export your poverty to America!

Unfortunately, for the rocket science major turned dishwasher, his decision to carry that $59,000 in a duffel bag through airport security put a crimp in his entrepreneurial visions.

Specifically, Pedro Zapeta was arrested and his small fortune confiscated by the U.S. government. Pedro has been ordered to leave America by January 2008, sans most of that $59,000.

But not everyone agrees that Zapeta has received the justice he richly deserves.

Writing in the Miami Herald, Ana Menendez sympathizes with the illegal alien:

"At a time when most Americans are deep in the red and the national debt rises by more than $1 billion a day, Pedro Zapeta may be the last man on earth who still embodies the great American ideal of thrift and hard work.

"He never owned a car, rode his bike everywhere and denied himself every luxury beyond rent and electricity. If Zapeta were wise to the ways of popular culture, he'd pitch a self-help book: How to Think and Grow Rich on Minimum Wage.

"Zapeta doesn't care about any of that. He just wants to get home to his family. That's understandable. But I think the authorities should reconsider.

Anyone who can amass $62,000 in nine years should be forced to stay here and teach the rest of us how to do it."

Miami Herald: http://www.miamiherald.com/548/story/266193.html

Of course, Menendez does not mention the fact that America's national debt includes hundreds of billions of dollars spent to provide education, health care, food, housing and other public services to illegal aliens like Pedro Zapeta.

Further, about 30 percent of America's prison and jail population is made up of illegal aliens, another huge expense dumped on the backs of American taxpayers.

Ms. Menendez also conveniently overlooks the fact that most Americans pay income taxes, a legal requirement imposed by the federal government and most states. Without the burden of income taxes, many Americans would be far less encumbered with debt and more likely to be rich like Pedro Zapeta.

As to Menendez's idea for a book, I agree that Pedro should undertake such a project.

However, rather than How to Think and Grow Rich on Minimum Wage, Pedro should pen a book titled, Get Rich by Invading America, Evading Taxes and Freeloading on the Backs of American Taxpayers, For Dummies.

To be published in Spanish only, of course.

As to Menendez's proposal that Pedro Zapeta should be forced to stay in America and teach the rest of us how to earn and save: Nice thought, but Pedro Zapeta is urgently needed in Guatemala.

After all, while Pedro was ripping off America, nine years worth of dirty dishes have been stacking up in Guatemala!

Go home, Pedro!