Liberals Hate NASCAR

By Jack Ward

Satire

As I prepared to watch the NASCAR race at the California Speedway in Fontana California, a few weeks ago, I was amazed at the crowd. There was a heat wave that had blistered the Southern California area. Most fans had already braved several hours of 115 degree heat and were eagerly waiting to watch a four hour race. What kind of people are these NASCAR fans? I've concluded that regardless of political registration, NASCAR fans are fairly conservative.

For example:

A typical NASCAR race begins with an invocation. A selected individual offers a non-denominational prayer and asks God to protect the participants and fans.

Secular Liberals wouldn't think of starting an event with a prayer. They would suggest that there should be a separation of church and racing.

After the invocation, an Honor Guard marches in to present the American Flag.

Liberals see the American Flag as an oppressive symbol and would prefer to see the Honor Guard march across the flag rather than carry it.

Once the colors are presented, a guest sings the National Anthem.

Liberals loathe the Anthem and view it as a song of blind patriotism.

As the anthem ends and the crowd cheers as military aircraft fly over the race track.

Rather than view these magnificent machines as symbols of freedom, Liberals view the military as a means to oppress people.

The Grand Marshall then steps to the microphone and gives the command to start engines. Immediately, 43 race cars thunder to life. Ignoring the Global Warming myth, these gas guzzling 800 horsepower race cars thunder around the course at speeds of up to 200 miles an hour.

Liberals would prefer a 55 MPH limit. They would also be fretting about the 'carbon footprint' that the race cars emit and wondering if any of the car owners had purchased 'emission credits'. Of course Liberals would prefer that the cars were eco-friendly hybrids.

As the race progresses the fans cheer the action. At the end of the race the checkered flag waves and the fans cheer for the winner.

Liberals abhor competition that creates winners and losers. Liberals even want to ban dodge ball to prevent the loser from suffering the loss of self-esteem.

Conservatives admire the engineering expertise, the driver's ability, and the thrill of competition - Liberals dismiss all of these attributes.

From the invocation, presentation of the colors, singing the National Anthem, celebrating the military fly over, to the conclusion of the race; there is a great divide between Conservative and Liberals. Therefore, it was easy for me to conclude that regardless of political registration, NASCAR fans are fairly conservative.

judythpiazza@newsblaze.com

   _   _