Osama bin Laden's NO TAX Campaign Pledge!

Share With Friends

Satire By John Lillpop

Is Osama bin Laden running for president? One could easily conclude that after listening to his latest video.

According to bin Laden, there are no taxes in Islam! Campaign rhetoric or just the facts?

There is a Zakaat, which sounds like a flat tax. Again, according to Osama, the Zakaat is 2.5%, which beats 50% all to hell!

ABC NEWS:

Maybe the world's Numero Uno terrorist is not such a bad fellow after all. Perhaps Islam is not the nemesis that we have been lead to believe.

Without taxes to fret, one could get used to facing east five times a day, with one's butt pointed straight up in the air, and in solemn prayer to this character named Allah.

Praise Be to Allah, indeed, for the Zakaat - and damn the IRS!

Yes, Islam can be brutal what with beheadings, lopping off of body parts for minor infractions, mandatory mosque attendance every Friday at the time devoted to the spiritual experience called Happy Hour in the civilized world.

But there are mitigating circumstances: There are no stupid 1040s, with Schedules A-Z and hundreds of stupid forms required by a Nazi-like bureaucracy. No withholding taxes to decimate an otherwise respectable pay check.

And Osama even recognizes that Democrats are bungling morons who cannot be trusted with anything important.

In addition, Islam has a provision for multiple wives, which is available in America only to Mormons who tithe. That is 10% on top of taxes!

Feminist Nazis are unheard of in Islam, and women know their place and mind their male masters without argument.

No taxes, multiple wives OK, no feminists, no Democrats.

Say there, OBL, when is the next "Open Enrollment" month?