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Democrat Presidential Hopefuls Slow to "Get It" on Amnesty

Satire By John Lillpop

Most people understand that liberals are slow learners, probably because of birth defects that cause them to live in constant denial, self-delusion, and deceit.

But even wonky DNA and flawed genetics can not explain some of the wretched excesses that are consuming liberal candidates for the presidency these days.

Example: Just two days after the American people kicked the president and U.S. Senate in the teeth over a proposed amnesty scheme, all of the Democrat presidential candidates vowed to push through legislation that would defy the will of the people and legalize illegal aliens and gift them with a path to citizenship. [ Azstarnet ]

The following comment from Barack Obama is particularly revealing:

"As president, I will sign comprehensive immigration reform. I want my daughters to be raised in a community in which all people, and not just some, are considered part of the American dream."

By ALL, we assume that the senator from Illinois means 12-30 million criminal invaders, including rapists, murderers, bank robbers, terrorists, drug and human smugglers, drunk drivers, and all other felons likely to vote a straight Democrat ticket for the next 50 years!

Or, even worse, did Obama mean ALL six billion people on the planet?

But fret not, American patriots. Science is working full time on a cure for liberalism.

Ultrasound technology now used to determine the gender of an unborn fetus may soon be sophisticated enough to alert public health officials when a fetus is infested with the defect that causes liberalism.

Armed with such knowledge, medical science will then be able to administer vaccines, antibiotics, and other treatments to prevent newborn children from degenerating into full-blown liberals.

Until that happy day arrives, we must all remain diligent and do our damnedest to prevent liberals from being elected to any position of authority involving local, state, and federal governments, national security, money, education at all levels, infrastructure, law and order, terrorism, marriage, children, food, automobiles, Christmas, Easter, organized religion, television, the Internet, the U.S. military, foreign relations, the U.S. Constitution and Bill of Rights, illegal aliens, and the starting pitching for the Los Angeles Dodgers.

It would also help to keep known liberals confined to their own neighborhoods so as to prevent cross breeding with normal people.

Such cross breeding could, if uncontrolled, lead to a pandemic of affirmative action, gay rights, diversity workshops, abortions on demand, higher taxes, addiction to global warming, ungodly fairness doctrines, open borders, and other human calamities.

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal.