The Donovan Two Step

by David Snyder

Move over Savion Glover, Billy Donovan is in town.

He will not only two step with his feet, but also with his tongue. Like Jay-Z in point-shoes. Like George W in a tutu.

For his first recital number he selected a time-honored dance, reeking of must.

It was a decrepit number where he hoisted not only his championship trophy, but also his own loyalty high in the air for all to see after Florida's history making NCAA win. He did a beautiful pirouette out of the way of the Kentucky job saying:

It's all about where you're at in life and what's going to make you happy. I'm happy here at Florida. I love the University of Florida.

Majestic.

The Florida fans in the audience went wild as though they had never seen someone move with such devotion for them personally.

However, before they could even get back into their seats from their standing ovation Donovan broke into wild gyrations that completely countered his earlier performance.

His loyalty went to the highest bidder.

Personally, this was very difficult for me because my 11 years at Florida were a very great 11 years. But I really looked at myself in a couple of aspects; one, the easy decision for me personally would have been to stay at Florida, or the next step would be to do something that would really challenge me as a person and coach and help me grow and get better. And I've always been intrigued by the NBA. To leave Florida would have taken something very, very special.

The audience looked at each other stunned, jaws gaping open.

Billy Donovan is just a man. No matter how much college basketball fans try to deify him, he is mortal, and mortal man is subject to vanity and greed more than any of the other sins.

First, someone told him HE had won two NCAA championships. Not one of the best starting fives to ever play college basketball, three of whom will be top ten picks in this draft, HIM. Somehow, Donovan, without being noticed, took of his tie and entered the championship game to guard Greg Oden man-to-man.

Second, the Magic dug into their pockets and pulled out a huge, sloppy stack of bills. Not only more money than Donovan made at Florida, but also more money than Dwight Howard is making in Orlando. I guess Donovan would have been guarding Shaq when he came to town.

He two stepped around his avarice and greed talking about challenges and how special the circumstances were. When all the clichés were washed away, we had a coach losing almost his entire championship team making a move towards more money and fame.

The dance made Florida and college basketball fans sick and want to leave the twisted little dance recital.

Then he flashed his silver tongue.

In these circumstances, it would have been entirely unfair to the Magic and their fans to have continued on. Although this has been a difficult time for everyone, for which I am profoundly sorry, in my heart I know that this is the right thing for the Magic and me.

And they all came flooding back to their seats.

They wanted to believe this newest move is for them. They think that he once again realized his love of all the things he held up only months ago.

What he realized is that the average NBA coach's tenure is less than three years. He realized that many have tried and failed at the jump from college to the NBA, including his mentor Rick Pitino. It is hard for some coaches who have been successful in the league to keep there jobs. Just ask another Donovan mentor Jeff Van Gundy.

He came to the eye opening revelation that Orlando was a playoff bubble team in a bad conference. On top of their mediocrity, they do not even have a first round pick in this years draft, the most talented draft pool in recent memory.

He saw all of the concepts his hero worship is based upon sitting atop a house of cards and opted for sturdier ground.

College basketball.

The beast he knows.

And in the final few moments of his performance, as the lights dimmed, he turned to the audience:

I realized that, in my heart, I belonged in college basketball

They applauded with glee, teary eyed and feverish with delight.

The curtain closed and I was forced to pop an antacid. Donovan's two-step and the cloud of clichés and sentimentality it kicked up made me just the slightest bit nauseous.

David Snyder catches stories floating around the sports world at Bigdaveonsports.com, your one stop for sports on the web.

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