Forget War Czar: America Needs Competent President

By John W. Lillpop

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At long last the White House has admitted that George W. Bush is not up to the task of being America's commander-in-chief and Mexico's hired gun on illegal immigration at the same time.

Because Bush is far more passionate about ceding America to Mexico than he is about winning in Iraq and Afghanistan, Duyba has decided to look for a "war czar" to run the wars.

Duyba's new aide-de-camp will handle the day-to-day activities involved in the wars Bush has going right now, and will be available to take over any new wars that Bush might fancy over the next two years.

Having a war czar in place will allow Bush to personally oversee the decay of the United States nation into a third-world cesspool. The czar will also be a convenient punching bag if the "surge" fizzles and Bush needs to deflect blame so as to not sully his legacy.

Democrats were surprisingly supportive of the war czar concept. In fact, Speaker Pelosi faxed her resume and a cover letter to the Oval Office to let Bush know she would like the position. Pelosi claims to have experience in the region and listed Syrian President Assad as a character reference.

Conservatives were generally unimpressed by Duyba's latest folly.

Said one, "Forget a war czar. What America really needs is a competent, credible president!"

Amen to that, brother!