Rep. Keith Ellison Issues Fatwa on Cigar Smoke - SATIRE

By John Lillpop

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Democrat Keith Ellison, the only Muslim elected to the U.S. Congress, has decided to tackle issues that other politicians normally shy away from.

Rather than concerning himself with illegal immigration, global warming, the war on terror, trade deficits, the federal debt, and troop surge in Iraq, the Minnesota Democrat has issued a Fatwa on cigar smoke.

More specifically, cigar smoke emanating from the office of Rep. Tom Tancredo (R-Colo.). [TheHill.com]

As it turns out, Tancredo is allowed to smoke in his office according to the property management firm responsible for the building.

However, Ellison staffers dispute Tancredo's authority to "pollute the air," saying that building regulations are subordinate to Sharia law which specifically forbids smoking of any nicotine product within 100 yards of a sacred site of Islam.

In this case, Tancredo's office is within 95 feet of Ellison's office, which has been designated as a stoning sanctuary.

Under Sharia law, Ellison's office can be used as an execution chamber for stoning to death evil women who have dressed and behaved in a manner that has forced Muslim men to rape them. That makes the office a sacred Islam site.

Because of Sharia law, Tancredo is guilty of a sin against Allah every time the Representative lights up.

Nonetheless, Tancredo says he does not intend to stop smoking in his office, Allah willing or not!

John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, "clean and sober" since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable!
John Lillpop is a recovering liberal, 'clean and sober' since 1992 when last he voted for a Democrat. Pray for John: He lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where people like Nancy Pelosi are considered reasonable! Writing is his passion. He loves creating lively copy with irony and humor!

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