Rabbit Tests, Rapidly Producing Trees


(Transcription of Audio Podcast)

Well every once and a while a story will come up that makes my job as a humorist too easy to believe. Today, that story hit the wires, and is hopping all around like the Easter Bunny the day before Easter. Here is the headline. Rabbit genes create trees that eat poisons.

I am here still; I just had to let that sink in a while. Now, I am going to attempt to get through this with minimal rodent jokes. I will save though jokes for politicians. So, here is the deal. Seems they have new Genetically Modified Trees, modified with rabbit genes that can clean up the toxic air we breathe. Now, trees do that anyway, however, this tree is super siphoned for all that is bad. I don’t know how it works but seems it just does.

There is also talk about the fact that these trees have to be grown in a controlled environment so they don’t spread via natural elements, wind rain … Ok, that should eliminate most of the world. The minute I heard about this, I thought of the musical “little shop of horrors” “feed me smote”. Or, the movie “Invasion of the Body Snatchers”. 20 years down the road with all the air clean, we will have rabbits hopping around and we will be hiding the eggs on Easter, not by choice.

Science is a wonderful thing and so is the human mind. I don’t deny that. However, this DR frankinfur approach to solving problems that man – human create is not quite right. Granted there are a lot of things in our soil, air, and bodies that could be bad for us. Instead of adapting Mother Nature to fit us, why don’t we create a plan to not contaminate this world to begin with, and then help Mother Nature clear up the rest of the house? I see this all the time… I call it litter; I don’t think it should be called global warming anymore, more like, lack of personal responsibility.

We have changed the slogan from give a hoot to I don’t hoot. Let someone else clean it up. That is what they are paid to do. And I reckon that if the Douglas FUR trees they are creating (birthing) don’t do the trick, we can blame the furry little creatures next.

You can’t head up a recycling team during the week, if you are the person littering on the weekends. Back in the pioneer days, man took what they could from the land and never put it back, well at least not to the magnitude that they stripped from the land. Certainly, not a fair trade. Things have not changed, our modern day pioneers are the big corporate monsters, the ones that use all the resources and don’t give anything back to the land, other than cancer and pollutants.

Now, hold your comments so that we can see who speaks up first. That should tell us who to go after to get their environmental issues in order. Not that I don’t think that spending…millions of dollars to develop trees that are part rabbit that eat the bad things out of the air, is a bad idea. I just wonder how that funding meeting went the first time around. And was it sandwiched in between, cures for cancer and solving poverty in the US. We sure do get a lot of complex plans to solve our simple problems. I say, go with the common sense plan, and that is, don’t do it before it starts. It doesn’t cost anything and everyone can do it. And whatever you do, don’t fall pray to marketing. Someday, I am sure we will hear that the government has come up with a plan to plant oil drums deep in the earth in hopes they will grow more oil. … just don’t believe it!

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Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.