Government Takes a Joy Ride With The Big 3 Automakers

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Ok, so I am not the best businessman, it has taken me till I got in my forties to manage to earn a buck that I can save. Now the government is broke and has taken my dollar away, along with 699 billion more. But here is the deal, one of the jobs I had when I was in my early 30’s was working for a car dealership, a big line; Toyota and Lexus.

I worked in an auto mall and I developed the Internet buying department. That is something now that is sort of a given these days in a dealership. Back then the other sales guys would walk by my office, which was in the back forty and they would growl at me, you know why, right? Well it was because that was the time when everyone could shop online to 20 dealers and get the best NO HAGGLE deal. You could shop in and around where you live for the best deal.

Of course some would stretch farther (1-200 miles) and if they got a good deal they would just drive up, get the deal and call it a road trip on the way home. The long distance car deal only worked for the folks that could afford to take their current car more than 50 miles away from home without worrying that it would not make it to the dealership to trade it in.

I myself, normally would be the type of person that would have to go to somewhere like Otis’s used cars, (Get it here and show me it runs and we have a deal!) with 25% interest rate on your purchase. I have had more 500 dollar cars than I can shake a wrench at. I have broken down so many times I could be pit crew on any car 1982 back. Anyhow, here is the rub. The auto industry needs our help, or at least our money. They want us to gas up their engines with money from the 700 billion dollars that the government has built up to remodel the real estate and banking industry.

Now I have two thoughts on this and I will cut to the chase and start off by saying that in the hundred years that automobiles have been around Americans have rallied around the concept of pride in our automobiles. From Detroit and manufacturing to cruising on the strip to NASCAR and funny cars, we have built and supported the car industry. So much that most males if you gave them a choice to live in a penthouse in New York City or a redone 64-68 Ford Mustang or a 55 Chevy they would pick the car. As a matter of fact, scrap the idea of redoing the car they will take it as is. So you folks get the fact that we are dedicated to our autos here in the US.

Even though in these hundred years we have had constant gas hikes and prices of autos have sky rocketed. We take care of our kid’s everyday, feed them, clothe them and make sure they are healthy. However, we have a love affair with our autos. I have seen families with better looking autos, with kids in the back seat that look like they have not eaten in weeks. However, we still keep you auto boys going and allow you to stay behind in school (fuel technology) and love you all the same.

Recently, in the last 20-30 years you auto folks have done a big disservice to your buyers here in the US and that is sending the jobs overseas. It has gotten so bad now that folks don’t know if they are driving an American car or just a knock off.

You know, are we driving a dollar store sale item or is it the real McCoy? I saw reports that say that we have such funky standards on what is American and what is not that each car in each line varies. GM : 75% BLAH BLAH: 40% BLAH BLAH: 29%.

Let me give all of you auto boys a little hint how to look at this rating system. Anything less than 100% right now in our countries moment of need is no longer acceptable. 100% made in America, 100% fuel efficient, not dependent. Henry food used to say that he could give his cars away for FREE. Reason being, the cars would rattle off a part enough that just the replacement and maintenance would let the car folks live MORE than comfortably. What happened?

Is it that big businesses have lost site of that “Live comfortably” part and now they are so far over their means that they can make the cars but they can’t afford to start them up. I hear tell you that some of these top brass make MILLIONS every year in salary. If the amount of money you are paid at your jobs is determined by the stress it gives you and the risk you take, maybe Americans should be the ones getting a lot more take home pay.

I was hoping to be brief with the two points so no one gets confused when it comes to DONATING to the big 3. Because you know what a donation is right; something you give away and will never see again. The only thing you get is a slip of paper that really does not mean much to the IRS and a good feeling you helped someone, 1 out of 2 ain’t so bad.

My second point:

In business, if you are smart you create what is called a P&L; profit and loss statement. This lets a business know if the money and time they are putting into your investment comes out with enough that it is worth the risk. Which with the way things are going in the banking, real estate and stock world maybe they skipped the part about risk assessment because there is too much to count.

I mean, didn’t the government have weeks of meetings to asses that the banking and real estate folks needed a bail out and the number they came up with was 700 billion? Now come to find out that the auto folks think “that is not fair, we are running the country into the ground to, and why can’t we have some money.” So now the 700 billion that was supposed to be for these two industries and all of a sudden that same amount can be used to bail out anyone with a possible bankruptcy looming over their head gets a golden umbrella?

Here is what I say: We will most likely be helping these big boys back on the road to riches and soon enough for them to be able to turn around and buy their family’s Christmas presents, probably before we see another stimulus check – (Jan 21st). So we will just get coal in our stockings, wait they will probably want they as well. But before we hand over the money do you think we could get them to do a few things.

Keep the jobs here in the states, let the only cars made in China be matchbox cars. That way our economy can only be poisoned one little lead car at a time.

Plus, we will drive what you make, but start considering, while you have no money making cars from scratch. Any baker knows that something from scratch there is normally a recipe that you put in what you have available and cook up something memorable. In this case, start searching OUTSIDE for what you have in your plants and consider PLANTS and corn or anything else reusable that will get your cars to run. If you can’t grow it or make it here in America, then think again. Don’t start with “Drill baby drill” more like “Plant Baby Plant, it to make dollars and cents for our future.

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Will Roberts is a trick roper and cowboy humorist, who pays tribute to Will Rogers, America’s cowboy, with a wit as quick as his rope. Will is a syndicated political cartoonist and was recently the trick-roping cowboy at Cirque du Soleil.

Will has covered the Republican National Convention, Democrat events and the McCain-Obama debates. At home in front of or behind the camera, in front of or behind a radio microphone, Will reports what he sees, usually with a twist of humor.